The Marsh Queen by Virginia Hartman

Author:Virginia Hartman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2022-09-06T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

“Look here at Loni now, she is so brave.” It’s the mother of a boy in my class. I stare at the brown piping on the collar of her dress. My mother shakes her hand. On the other side of the casket, an officer stands, an honor guard.

A lady from church says to my mother, “Your big daughter, such a comfort to you.” Every grown-up in town files past. “Help your mama with the baby,” they whisper, as if I didn’t know that, as if I didn’t have Philip right there on my hip.

Tall and craggy Mr. Zenon is next. “What a big girl you’ve gotten to be.” Behind him is short, squat Joleen Rabideaux, not much taller than me, and she says to him, “She’s not a girl at all, now, she’s a young lady.” I’ve sat up in the live oak and listened to Joleen tell my mother what to do with me, how to make me straighten up, what to nip in the bud. Mostly she makes me feel awkward, but now she says, “I’m proud of you for being strong. Cool in a crisis, that’s what you are.” She smooths my hair and it sticks to my sweaty head.

After Joleen Rabideaux, I think maybe I can stand it all, the braves and the not-a-tears and the good helpers and everything they say to me, everything they say to my mother, he-was-a-gem, and sorry-for-your-loss, and just the speaking of her name. Ruth. For some, that’s all they say. The Fish & Game people, the other officers, all ironed and fresh, each put a hand on my head, on my shoulder. It could have been them. But it wasn’t. I want to ask them, He drowned, but how can that be? And what did it mean, what I heard on the stairs? “Had he been acting strangely around home? Depressed?” Explain it to me! But they say nothing, and neither do I.

I put Phil in the stroller. He starts to squinch his face in a way I know well, and in a minute everyone can smell his diaper, which means I can leave this horrible room. I put a hand on the stroller and push. People in line smile sadly as I pass. If only they knew I’m no good at this. My mother told me this morning, “You would think on the one day I actually need your help you could do something right!”

At the doorway of the funeral home stands the man who bought my fish eagle, Mr. Barber. He’s not in line to console my mother. He stands away from the others and glowers at the whole scene. Before I push the stroller through the doorway, he turns and leaves.

In the bathroom, Philip howls as I change him. I’d like to howl too. I’m clammy and hot, and I just want to go out in the swamp with my dad. That’s when everything becomes real.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.